My name is...well my birth name is Britney but someday I will be able to legally change it to Graham.
i am a very sad queer trans kid from texas. i realize how horrifying a sentence that was. im surprised ive made it to 17, to be honest.
i havent told my family that im bi or that im trans out of fear that they will no longer like me anymore.
i do well in school but i dont really try nor do i honestly give a shit, if we're being real here.
my favorite person in the whole world is my aunt and i cant even talk to her because my family is a bunch of stuck up assholes.
i like tv and film and art.
David Fincher and Wes Anderson are my favorite directors, Van Gogh my favorite artist, and perhaps my favorite shows would be Hannibal, Bates Motel, Bob's Burgers, and It's Always Sunny.
i like techno and alternative rock.
i do not like long walks on the beach, i just like the sound of waves crashing against the shore.
i like mountains and greenery but i also love sky scraping cities.
Ive been dating a girl for the past almost two months (will be two on March 3rd) but frankly i dont know how long that will last considering im a terrible human being and she lives far away when their are cute people in arms reach that i could ACTUALLY be kissing.
i hate myself a lot
i suffer from depression
dysphoria has kind of taken over my life
i write a lot of poetry while crying in the middle of the night
but i dont just cry i sort of scream silently and bash my pillows violently
im a pretty violent person tbh
i swear like a god damn sailor and i honestly dont give a fuck
i hate how my family treats people but i dont think i really hate them as people
i dont know how to feel or what to feel anymore and the one person i want to talk to i cant
im just craving physical contact i just want to make out with someone but i cant because im dating someone already and she lives 16 hours away and i hate myself for doing this to myself
cant break it off because she will get sad and how could i do that to her? shes actually really amazing i just cant do without the contact i just cant, not for another year and a half.
whatever. anyway, until next time.
